“You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.”
This was a lesson we were supposed to learn a long time ago, in kindergarten maybe, but I still think it’s a challenge for most of us—especially when we feel JUSTIFIED. Justified is not a “get out of jail free card.” Sorry. We use it to defend all of our actions that are unbecoming, but the truth is, the person that NEVER feels justified to use that behavior, is exceptional—and that’s who I want leading me because they get it.
Last night, Doug and I had a fabulous dinner at a new restaurant in Manhattan. The staff was off the charts, and from someone who used to waitress, my bar is very high. From the bartender, to the server, to the sommelier, and finally the GM, each one was nicer than the next. But, there was a woman seated a few tables away who put this amazing staff through the wringer. I heard her say, “Woah, woah, woah, wipe this table down before you put new plates down,” and “You missed a spot here.” She complained about her seat and made the GM sit down to experience her discomfort. I was sitting on the same seat just a few feet away and I was perfectly fine. In my children’s vernacular, “She was a lot.” It was painful to watch, but we had a nice chuckle with our server about how over the top she was.
So back to the flies and honey thing. When dinner was over, our server comped our drinks. Why? I guess because we helped her laugh through a tough situation. When we are dealing with people, “justified” never makes anything any better. Mean is mean even when we are justified and it doesn’t make anyone want to help us—it actually angers and repels people! Mean behavior makes the “flies” uncatchable. So if we are a leader or dealing with people in any way, “vinegar” is not the way to go. It may feel good in the moment, especially when we are “justified,” but in the end it’s bad for everyone involved. AND—never when it’s someone who is serving you food you’re about to eat! Don’t be stupid! LOL.
Let’s GO! WE GOT THIS!