A while back, I was talking to my daughter about lacrosse. The season had just ended and we were discussing what she needed to do in the off-season to prepare and improve before next season. She takes this kind of stuff very seriously. She cares a lot about what coaches, bosses, teachers, etc., have as expectations for her and she really doesn’t want to let them down. I’m a lot like that, too. Are you?

As I watched her get deeper into this thought process, a light bulb went off. I stopped her so I could ask a question. I said, “I get that this is what the coach wants, and that’s important, but what do you want? What do you want out of the season?” She looked back at me kind of stunned, then I saw a smile come across her face, and she responded, “I want it to be fun and I want to have great times with my friends and teammates.” Now all of us were smiling, and I said, “Don’t ever leave you and your wants and needs out of the equation.”

You can ask yourself the same question. What do you want out of this job, relationship, friendship, etc.? Have you completely forgotten about your wants and needs? Your happiness is important, too. Working toward someone else’s vision will rarely inspire or motivate anyone. But if we add in our wants and needs, then the equation is no longer one-sided! The coach, boss, and teacher didn’t do anything wrong! It’s us who forgot to add ourselves into the mix. So today, take a good look at the equation—are you in it? If not, ask yourself, “What do I want?”



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